~ Remember that "Tennis Elbow" is far better than the dreaded "Tennis Ball"! ! !

30 June 2005

Got a SECRET...??

Aaaaaaah Secrets...

We all have some sort of secrets... some good ones... bad ones... embarrassing ones... naughty and private ones... Same of these secrets we share with only a few dear friends... then there are same of them we keep all bound up and hidden in the dark~damp abyss of our minds... and it is these ones we all really need & should share... as if they are kept hidden and locked up long enough... they can potentially and slowly end up rott us from the in side out...

So that is why... "I say share your secrets... Get the stuff off your chest / shoulders...!!!" and it can be done totally anonymously... just go check out www.postsecret.com

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people from all over the world mail-in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard. These are then displayed online... Wola... telling the world your secret!!!

I think it can possible be able to do same good out there… sort of air some dirty laundry... let the world know... and also gives you a chance to see that everyone else out there goes through same hard times and shit also... and it is not just the world crashing down on you... it sort of puts things into prospective... or at least it did for me... reminded me how lucky I really am and things could always be worse!

So give it a go... use it... dont use it... you got nothing to loose…

Here are a few for example:


24 June 2005

Like...... "Thank F%$K it is FRIDAY!!!!!!!!"

All I can say is "Thaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnk F%$K it is FRIDAY!!!!!!!!"

As I can smell the beer and morning after-breathe of the weekend already!!!! Thank Allah'!!!!

As it has just been on of those crappy-shit-stress filled weeks... the type of weeks were everyone seems to have halved their general IQ and are just out to piss you off and push all the wrong buttons!!!

When the traffic is even more shitty and backed up than usaul, when the traffic lights take longer to change green, when the que's at the shop's take longer and the cashier does not have change, when you go to bed later and the alarm seems to go off sooner to wake up, when all the parking spaces are taken and you have to walk a friggin small matharon to get where you are going, where when you finally get into work... all the cups are gone, the coffee is finished and there is no friggin' milk... and it just feels like the entire world is testing to see where your breaking point is... as if the powers-that-be above have got a bet going on how soon you will go postal worker on everyones ass, head-butt that irrating kid at the movies in the face and nail-bomb your MD's office!!!!

It is times like these, when I think of how nice it would be to have a beach front penthouse, with jet ski's, Yachts, a few bottles of expensive Cognac, perhaps a generous crowd of topless chicks tanning and shit... so that when every you feel like you have had a lil' black rain cloud over your head the enitre week and have no where really to dig a hole for the mass~grave for the weeks idiot killings... you can just jet off... to party, sun tan and frolic on the beach and yatch deck while sucking down on a few tropical cocktials with those umbrella thingies in them!!!

And then if it blew your hair back... you could be a life-guard or Captain or something to pull the chicks... I have always wanted to be Captain of a yacht or ship for a day…I don’t really have to sail it anywhere… it could actually just dock in front of my Beach penthouse, cos I just want to wear that snazy outfit and make dudes swab the deck and shine shit… as that shit looks hard man!

If I could be Captain, just for one day!! I would also make people call me Captain, since that is what I would be… My friends would get really confused and try to call me by my name, but I wouldn’t answer them… They would get really annoyed and call me Captain Asshole or something, so then I would kick them off the boat… People would learn to respect me if I was Captain…

Then the next day I wouldn’t be Captain anymore… I would be just plain old me again… I could apologize to my friends for kicking them off the boat and we could all walk by the yacht again so I could call the new guy Captain Asshole…

I just want to see this thing from both sides… as it help take my mind of the numerous ways I could physical harm everyone on my "You-dumb-and-have-pissed-me-off... so-now-Die" blacklist!

So have try have a super weekend children... and remember... "Eat red meat and be strong!!"


~billyb##zer

21 June 2005

A view of Jo'burg for all ya Oversea's MoFo's

Joburg

Spit in ya Eye...

.


I just wanted to find out… Does anyone else hate it when someone spits in your eye during a conversation…

And no matter who it friggin’ is… your boss, a stranger asking for directions or saxy lil’ shop clerk… you feel like you are doing something wrong when you wipe it out, so sometimes you wait a second... this means you have forgotten to listen to them and have been consumed by a small bit of saliva that is now drying in your eye...

So I suggest next time this happens to you, you should hock a throat scratching loogy and fire it right at the persons mouth…

Just to buy yourself some time to dry your eyes of their spit…



~billyb##zer

15 June 2005

Moral of the story...

I came across this joke... and i am always up for a good moral of the story or two... so thought i would share it...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral to it.

The next day the kids came back and one by one began telling their stories. Most of them were the usual "Don't put all your eggs in one basket," or "don't count your chickens before they're hatched," variety until the teacher asked little Michael to tell his story.

"My daddy told me this story about my Aunt Helen, " he began. "AuntHelen was a flight engineer in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was 2 bottles of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. So she drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops!

She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets, then she killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke, and then she killed the last ten with her bare hands!

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"

"Stay the fuck away from Aunt Helen when she's been drinking!"


----------------------------------------------------------------------------

ha haa h ha - i think i might have a few friendz dat could be related to Aunt Helen then!!! ha haa

~billyb##zer.


08 June 2005

Darth ~ Ali...


Darth ~ Ali...
Originally uploaded by Rashcream.


Hahahaa ~

02 June 2005

Drunken BastardMan


Drunken BastardMan
Originally uploaded by
Rashcream.


Ha haha - Good morning, good afternoon and Goodnite to you all...

Just a quick up-date... to help you all get through until the weekend...

So to laugh your balls off guys... and laugh~rip your nipples off chicks... go check out the following site!

http://www.drunkenbastardman.co.za

It has become my new favorite-est-est site... Drunken BastardMan takes a clear look into all the problems facing South Africans today... everything from S.A Democracy, Affirmative action, Culture, politics, Glue Kidz, fuckward Americans, Movie reviews, Fashion and the man in the street... and gives it his shoot-from-the-hip thoughts... no pussy footing around with etiquette, formalities, social norms and the dam hush~hush attitude that most people in this county have developed over the years…

I personally love the slap your mother… tuff-fucking-dry-wank if you do not like it, go cry in a dark corner while bending over touching your toes and take it up the ass sort of way he writes!

You can not argue... this Drunken BastardMan has talent... and hits the nail on it head almost ever time around!

So check it out... let me know...
Cheers bye...

billy/b##zer~