Friggin airports & Q's...

I want to know... "Why the hell does it take so long for people to get off of a freakin’ airplane…?" I have been pondering this simple question after I recently returned from a short trip to France…

Cos everyone is in such a bloody rush to get on the plane that when they tell us to line up, we lose the ability to think or even form a simple line…there is total mad choas, as we all crowd in, start pushing, lil children lose limbs & go missing, there is standing on peoples toe's, old people getting tipped out their wheel chairs, there is people elbowing others in the ribs & faces while grunting and fighting for the overhead bins and the prime postion to lay their 8ft. prized S.A wooden-Giraffe!!!!

Then we land, and everyone seems to be stuck in slow mode and taking their time… no rush or care in the world!!!! I am like... "Look man…I have been on this god damn match-box of a plane for 10 or so hours… eating microwaved mush meant to resemble food ("that gets your guts running like a fine indian seafood curry"), having been crammed like sardines and having to deal with gay tinkel-bell air-hostess-dude... So Get your shit, dont give the frail ol' granny a chance to get up and get your friggin ass to baggage claim…"

Oh and while your at it, please wind-mill punch the friggin asshole behind me that has been kicking my seat the entire fucking flight and using my seat back as a helping hand to get up and sit down over and over and over and over again…

And keep your kids away from the electronic doors and off the freaking baggage claim belt… Sure, the kid in Jerry McGuire was really cute when he was lost and came rolling around on the thing, but get this…I want my suit case and I want it now and if your kid gets his hand caught in the belt, chances are it will shut down and I will stand here while they cut his hand off with a saw…

I have a cold beer waiting on me… Lets go people!!!!

.billy/b##zer~