~ Remember that "Tennis Elbow" is far better than the dreaded "Tennis Ball"! ! !

04 May 2005

South-Africa, Purple-gums, Twat-bosses and cult members...

~ Ag well... after scratching my balls and having done a quick check and a bit of math’s… I have came to the conclusion that things this side of the world are not too bad… as I still have my health, my friends & family, my car, my teeth (in my side of town that is amazing!), a few cold Amstel dumpies in the fridge, my credit card is not red-lined or maxed out this month and it is already middle of the week with weekend just around the corner… so all in all.. It’s pretty good! (that is if you strong or dumb enough to turn a blind eye and ignore the arrogant grass-root level previously disadvantaged ass-rectums working in our government, 24-7 road rage, escalating fuel price, oil-spoiled seals & penguins, Purple-gums selling coat hangers and cell phone chargers at the robots and out local SABC shit tele... over look all that... it can be pretty good!)

Although I wish I could say the same about work... has been like a huge Freak side show… especially the last 2 or 3 weeks!!! Ha haa haaa - from certain cows doing their soap-drama crying scenes and “Woo-is-me… I think everyone hates me” (I felt like saying…”Nope… it is not ‘think’… but rather “DOES” hate you!”). To the MD trying to convince himself and pretend to try be the model-Boss of the year… and the female business partner still being the number one diet-pill-industry supporter & genie-pig and true-living evidence that you can take what ever 100 diet supplements you want to loose weight… but if you are still eating like a pregnant horse… they aint going to do shit!! To “turn-around-touch-the-ground” and “shove-the-word-down-your-throat-&-in-your-face-bible-punching-bitch” crying and taking days off of work cos of personal-stress… all because the “Cult-church” she has joined is not treating her nicely (Surprised…?) and she is not allowed to hug guys from the front no more… as it is way too Sexual and thus will make baby-jesus cry and cancel your one way ticket to heaven and make you clean windows and toilets for the rest of your days!

Like Really… what fucking age do we live in...?!!! I was trying to think of the 69 million occasions where I have hugged any of my girl – dash – friends at the office, at home or even out when I am out drinking and have actually thought to myself “‘Wow man – that was so-so hot and sexual… Shit I think I may need to sit down, crack a quick dry-hand-wank, have a smoke… and try catch my breathe back!!

Honestly… if that was the case… men all over the world would be on chicks legs humping and grinding away like horny alley dogs!! But cos she is a true Christian (Insert hysterical laugh here) she is not allowed to think for herself or ask the question - “why or how came??” … She must just do what the elders say!!

Rrrrrrrreally…? I can not see how people can get side tracked and herded like blind sheep... and have their life butt rammed by the worst of all… other humans who claim they holy / god / yoda like and living the perfect holy life but in matter of fact probably sleep with farm animals / alter-boys, have heaps of speeding fines, downloads kiddy-porn every nite and do not pay their T.V license !! I am totally whack-me-on-my-ass fucking dumb-struck with that idea!

For example she is interested in a poor guy from the same cult as her… but he told her… he first needs to pray to god… ask him if she is the one he is meant to be with… and then he will get back to her in 3 weeks time… seriously… 3 weeks… = 21 days ?

Is that the general time it takes for god to check his email and respond or send one of his angels to answer your prayers… if it is the case… god must work for the SOUTH AFRICAN POST OFFICE!!!

Anyways… he finally got back to her after 3 weeks and said… “Sorry ~ god says he is destined to be with a “Red-head”!!! hahahaa now seriously… that does not sound like god to me… that sounds more like his “little-pink-headed monster’” in his under-pants talking there!! Seems the lil’ fella would like a lil ginger-minge! Ha haa haa – shit I do not know!!

She recently sent us all a message one nite to invite us to join her church… sorry I mean CULT… I suppose they need more members to join cos the cult leader / priest / pope / dj / a.ka “that dude in front” needs to pay for a new house, sports cars or the numerous drug-habits or to pay the under-age whores he takes home every other nite!!

Cos she told us...“god does not want the elders to be poor you know…! Stuff that… It is the elders not wanting the elders to be poor! Ha haaaa!! Shit I could go on for ages… but I won’t… I will stop now!! Before I have crosses burning out side my front door…

So generally things in the office are weird yet interesting as ever… I am seriously thinking of writing a play, book, movie script using my experiences and tales from the office… cashing it in by selling it to large movies companies over sea’s and maybe even a few psychologists to use as a case studies for future developments in solving what makes “FREAKS” tick…?

Ha ha ha haaaaa – sometimes I wonder how the hell the rest of us actually make it through everyday at work… I think we feed off each other to help keep sane! I think if one of us has to go we would all quit the same day!!! I am just happy… that I barely have to answer to anyone... I sit here in my corner… have my own clients… do my own thang and then go home… & only once a month I deal with the MD at month end… other than that… it just me… which is cool beans!!

To make this week slightly worse, I had to arrive back from sunny France... to a pile of work and shit weather here... is has just officially hit a new level of crap… it has been shitty here for a while too... it was unusually hot here for the last few weeks… no rain or wind or anything...then all the sudden… you wake up in it feels like you in mid winter… then by 1 pm lunch time… it is sweaty-clammy-ball-bags & mine-digger armpits !!! Yip… hot as hell man!!!!!! Really crap… I hate it… Weather must be a female… Cos it decides its hot, then its cold, then hot, then I am not sure… then its hot… then do you love me… then its cold… then it just wants to cuddle… then do i look fat in this outfit...

Anyways... i have to run... got a meeting in 5... Grrrrrr.... and... Hmmmmmmmm… just in time too... as i do not have much else bitch about… so I suppose this better be the part where I end it off…

cheers-bye...

.billy/b##zer~

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